One of the best things about attending music festivals is being able to meet new “friends”. Not long ago, temporary friendships started by asking a stranger for directions or paying a compliment to their t-shirt of some obscure band. But now, thanks to the social hook-up app Tinder, connecting with attractive outsiders is easier than picking a filter for a new Instagram photo (seriously). South By Southwest became the first unofficial festival to showcase a new level of swiping and with no shortage of unfamiliar faces, we put ourselves at the mercy of Tinder – all for the sake of research, of course. The results were more catastrophic than conclusive as that infamous “southern charm” was pretty non-existent and to prove we’re not kidding, here are eight examples. They’re not great, so prepare yourself.
RELIGIOUS BROS THAT QUOTE THE BIBLE IN THEIR BIO
It’s not that I’m not down with religion, I just don’t think Jesus is down with Tinder.
GUYS WHO PRETEND TO UNDERSTAND NON-AMERICANS
Americans just don’t get Canadian culture, or realize that “Canadian” isn’t a language.
GUYS WHO JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE PETS IN YOUR PHOTOS
That isn’t even my dog and no I’m not using Tinder to talk about cats/armadillos/rabbits/grackles.
BROS THAT AREN’T AFRAID TO BE OBSESSIVE/THIRSTY
This one’s obviously my fault but sometimes you do get too busy (or drunk) to finish a conversation.
BRITISH GUYS WHO STILL AREN’T FAMILIAR WITH NON-BRITISH GIRLS
One particular Tinder user called me a “bloke” as a compliment. Sorry Harry.
THE TWO BFFS WHO ARE SORT OF LIKE TWINS (BUT NOT)
These two besties used the same pick-up line at the exact same time. Creative much?
“ASPIRING RAPPERS” THAT NEED MORE GROUPIES
They solely use Tinder to gain more female fans. Stay away, even if they look like Drake.
EVERYONE ELSE WHO PRETENDS TO BE A LOCAL
There’s nothing sexy about using your loose misunderstanding of culture bro. But this… this is just hilarious.