Love him or hate him, DRAKE is everywhere – and for good reason. In the past 12 months, Drizzy reinvented an NBA team’s image, turned athletes into comedians, toured with Lil Wayne, professed his love for Meek Mills, and even produced a mixtape’s worth of singles. It wasn’t his biggest year on the scene, but he did manage to stay relevant – pausing only to #breaktheinternet with hoop dream memes and his Instagram scrapbooks. Don’t believe the hype? Then a few of our writers have you covered. Detailing all things Aubrey Graham, this is “THE YEAR IN DRAKE”.
JANUARY: DRAKE AND “40” PULL THE PLUG ON AALIYAH ALBUM
In 2012, everything was coming up Drake – Take Care was just released to critical acclaim, OVO Fest was in its third year, and it seemed as if there was nothing the rapper could do wrong. So why not release a track with a celebrated female musician who’s been dead for ten years? Hell, why not a full album! “Enough Said” made its way to the public shortly after but it wasn’t enough to keep key players on board so D&A could make
creepy sweet music together. Noah “40” Shebib jumped ship in January and left Drake, once again, by his lonesome. — Elyse Hill.
JANUARY: DRAKE HOSTS SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE
For SNL, Drake decided to resurrect his acting career and take on an improbable task: making fun of himself. Jokes on us, because it turns out he’s been doing it for years (who knew?). In an hour, Drizzy rapped about being Jewish, joined a teenage dance party, and got detention for hitting on a 68-year-old librarian. He also performed a strange ballad-style mash-up of “Hold On”, but it turns out that wasn’t supposed to be a joke. — Leah Beresford.
FEBRUARY: DRAKE CATCHES A FEEL AFTER MACKLEMORE’s GRAMMY WINS
Macklemore very well mackled more at the Grammys this year and our boy didn’t let him off the hook. In typical emo Drake fashion, Drizzy revealed to Rolling Stone: “If Macklemore was going to start doling out apologies, he should have reached out to more nominees. To name just Kendrick. That shit made me feel funny. No, in that case you robbed everybody. We all need text messages!”. Clearly Drake felt hurt – like a sulking teenage girl who just found out she wasn’t invited to her biddie BFF’s Sweet Sixteen – but who uses the word “doling”? — Rebecca Milner.
FEBRUARY: ROLLING STONE DROPS DRAKE’s COVER FOR P.S.H. TRIBUTE
There are a few sacred cardinal rules of Twitter: don’t tweet while overly emotional, always spell check, and don’t tweet and delete. But of course, these rules have never resonated well with Drizzy. While he was scheduled to be on the cover of RS in February, he found himself outraged when “they took [his] cover from [him] last minute” to pay tribute to the sudden death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. He also found himself expressing his anger and “disgust” via tweets, only to misspell Hoffman’s name and delete the evidence. Way to play it cool, Drake. — EH.
APRIL: DRAKE PAYS HOMAGE TO THE LINT ROLLERS
In late April, Drake learned an important life lesson: before an evening out, always ensure your clothes are fresh and presentable. Or else you may find yourself giving into the sudden and insatiable urge to do some touch ups when you probably should be doing something different, like paying attention to your team’s playoff game. — LB.
JUNE: “0 TOO 100 / THE CATCH UP” SURFACES ON THE INTERNET
With everything else Drake has been up to in 2014, we almost forgot he was a rapper. We also forgot how modest he was until he said “If I ain’t the greatest then I’m headed for it” #modestyFTW #heyDJ #youknow — LB.
JUNE: DRAKE TRIES TO BECOME A BLACKBERRY AMBASSADOR
Given his success as a “brand ambassador” for the Toronto Raptors, it’s only logical that Drake would want to lend his expertise to another struggling Canadian brand. Enter the Blackberry. In June, Drizzy was rumored to be a new rep for BB’s everywhere but within 24 hours, Blackberry denied the reports and shut it down #BBMfornoone — LB.
JULY: THE VIEWS FROM THE SIX RUMORS START
The “Views” rumors started back in July, thus spawning a slew of Instagram shots of the CN Tower with that same caption that’s been so excessively hyped and overused that no one may actually want to see those words again by the time the album finally arrives #416 #t6r6nt6 #killmenow. Drake’s own tweets note he’s working diligently to get the album done for spring 2015, so do we have any reason to doubt him? Word, he ain’t never told no lie. — EH.
JULY: DRAKE HOSTS THE 2014 ESPY AWARDS IN LOS ANGELES
From what I understand the ESPYS are like the Grammys of the sports world. From what I understand Drake did a good job hosting said event. But all I heard was this: #zerofucksaboutsports — LB.
AUGUST: DRAKE’s KEVIN DURANT “TAMPERING” AT OVO COSTS THE RAPTORS 25k
It’s all fun and games at OVO until someone gets fined. At the end of his performance, the global ambassador gave a quick shout to Oklahoma’s very own, Kevin Durant, for making it out to his performance. As he announced via the stage: “I just want him to see what would happen if he came to play in Toronto. Let him know what would happen.” Well I’ll tell you what happened kids, the NBA bent Drake over and spanked his team with a hefty “intent to recruit” fine. We’re not positive, but we’re pretty sure the ambassador picked up the tab on that one. — RM.
AUGUST: DRAKE AND NICKI MAKE A “LAPDANCE CAMEO” A THING
Sir Mix-A-Lot would be so proud. Drake had the pleasure of receiving arguably the greatest lap dance of ALL-TIME from none other than Nicki Minaj in her music video for “Anaconda”. The lap dance scene was apparently a drunk improvisation (but what impromptu lap dance isn’t) so we give Minaj the Brass Rail’s seal of approval for her moves. By the look of disbelief on Drake’s face… his anaconda does, clearly. #blessed — RM.
AUGUST: DRAKE REMIXES ILOVEMAKONNEN’s HIT SINGLE “TUESDAY”
“You guys, Tuesdays are like, totally the new Thirsty Thursday cuz like the clubs goin’ up n’ junk”. This is likely what 19-year-olds texted their besties the minute they heard Drake’s new club banger “Tuesday”. Oh wait, it’s a breakout hit by ILoveMakonnen? Seems like Drake’s got a new little protégé, whose interests include creepy Purge-inspired doll masks, over-sized Styrofoam cups, and lines that rhyme “Tuesday” with “choose-ay”. — RM.
AUGUST: DRAKE TAKES NICKI SNACK SHOPPING
When Drake offers to buy you “whatever you want” at the local 7-Eleven, you don’t say no. Between the Cheez-Its and the Nutella dip sticks (clearly a Drizzy favourite), Nicki claims she isn’t supposed to be eating any of “this” and our boy looks worriedly into the distance, thinking to himself, “If you were mine, I’d love you at any size”. — RM.
SEPTEMBER: DRAKE GETS AN EMOJI TATTOO
Drizzy Drake apparently prefers to wear his heart under his sleeve – case and point: the emoji tattoo he got on his arm. In what’s interpreted as a nod to his track “6 God”, the tattoo is of the number six followed by the emoji of two hands joined at the palms, commonly interpreted as “the praying hands emoji”. Let’s hope those emoji secularists don’t gain too much momentum or else this one will be known as the “high five”, which could be awkward. — LB.
OCTOBER: THE MISSED JUMPER IN KENTUCKY; MORE LINT-ROLLING
Turns out Drake could have used a little b-ball insight a few months down the road as he shot the perfect air ball during a warm up with the Kentucky Wildcats. The fans went wild! And by that I mean the Internet had its way with. Good thing Drake’s position with the Toronto Raptors is still “global ambassador” and not “coach”. — LB.
OCTOBER: “6 GOD”, “HOW ABOUT NOW”, “HEAT OF THE MOMENT” LEAK
Drake might be one of the only rappers – or artists for that matter – that is shamelessly proud of his own birthday (it’s October 24th, in case you’ve been living without Internet or access to the news for the past ever). This year was no different. In the final hours of his birthday weekend, Drizzy leaked three tracks – an entire EP!! – and claimed they were new songs he knew hackers already had in their possession and that he wanted to be the one to share them. Oh Drizzy, we thought we were the ones who were supposed to give the birthday gifts? — EH.
OCTOBER: DRAKE LOSES HIS COOL AT A STRIP CLUB
Drake was just trying to be a normal guy for his 28th birthday: hitting the strip club with the boys, indulging in a few libations, and starting a fight with the doorman. All was as good until October’s Very Own got pissed and started throwing around money. Literally. Good thing he had someone there to pick up most of the greens because that poor decision might have hurt him more than the hangover that followed the next morning. — LB.
NOVEMBER: DRAKE UNVEILS HIS IMPROVED SWEATER GAME
“The 6 God” sat courtside as his beloved Raptors took on the Philadelphia 76ers in November and he completely overshadowed the ball game with George Costanza-inspired glasses and what can only be a Lanolin (sheep’s wool) sweater. Did the Raptors win that night? No one knows and no one really cares because Drake was dressed as an 80-year-old grandfather with an aggressive case of glaucoma. Honestly though, Drizz-ay was one flannel shirt tied around the waist away from looking like a West Queen West hipster impatiently waiting for his drip coffee. — RM.
DECEMBER: STEPH & AYESHA CURRY REMAKE “0 TO 100”
No questions asked, Steph and Ayesha been cookin’ with the sauce. Like just look at that Breyers flip. — RM.