We Interviewed Drake (Well, Sort Of, But Not Really)

For the past week, everyone’s been going on Twitter rampages about DRAKE’s one-on-one time with his Grammy Award for Best Rap Album – 2012. Yes, he may have used it to take shots of Malibu. Yes, he still listens to Take Care. And yes, Grammy foam is the most epic kind of packaging foam out there. That said, we wanted to find out more about his new album Nothing Was The Same, so just a month before the nearly sold-out 4th annual OVO Fest, we pulled strings for a quick conference call with Drizzy himself. While playing Scrabble on an ATV somewhere in the middle of the Caribbean (aka Toronto Island), we talked to Drake about his third studio album and working with new acts while he responded using lyrics from his songs. The interview may be fake but we destroyed GQ with this one.

As your fans want to know – did you actually take a shot out of your Grammy Award?

“Yeah. It’s my birthday, I’ll get high if I want to.”
But it wasn’t weed. It was a few shots of liquor.

“I I I tried to tell you, Drizzy still ain’t nothing nice. Bracelet saying you should quit, cars saying fuck ya life.”
Well I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. A Grammy is a Grammy at the end of the day.

“I’m just sayin’ you could do better.”
How did it feel to finally get your first?

“People always ask how I got my nice things. Take my crown to the grave, I’m an underground king.”
But others do have more respect for underground MCs a la A$AP Rocky and Joey Bada$$.

“People really hate when a backpack rapper get rich and start livin’ that life dawg.”
Do you feel like Nothing Is The Same will help you hit higher goals?

“I know I exaggerated things, now I got it like that. Tuck my napkin in my shirt, cause I’m just mobbin’ like that.”
True. Have people been receptive to the recordings you’ve released so far?

“I know girls love Beyonce.”

What about your closest friends and business colleagues?

“I’ve been avoiding commitment. That’s why I’m in this position. I’m scared to let somebody in on this.”
Will Nothing Is The Same help you get your second and third Grammys?

“Yeah, and I’m just filling up this daily planner. Gettin’ busy ’cause I’m a star, no spangled banner. Jealous dudes get to talkin’ in they music and I just say I wrote it for your girlfriends, Kelsey Grammar.”
Will you take shots out of those as well?

“And I say. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, hell yeah. Fuckin’ right. Fuckin’ right, all right.”
To change the subject, what sort of new collaborations have you been working on? I know the label wants to keep things tight-lipped right now but have you worked with Abel?

“That OVO and that XO is everything you believe in.”
What about Frank Ocean and James Blake? They’re headlining the first day of OVO Fest.

“Both ‘N Sync like a Justin song. Feels so right but it’s just so wrong.”
And Rihanna?

“Now she want a photo. You already know though.”
You two seemed to click on “Take Care”

“I’ve always liked my women book and street smart. Long as they got a little class like half days and the confidence to overlook my past ways.”

Would you ever be open to collaborating with newcomers like Jessie Ware or Charli XCX?

“Yeah, but shout out to the homeowners, the girls that got diplomas.”
It seems like you’re pretty confident with the new album.

“I really can’t complain, everything is kosher. Two thumbs up, Ebert and Roeper. I really can’t see the end getting any closer but I’ll probably still be the man when everything is over.”
Some critics don’t feel the same way. Especially The Guardian UK.

“I’m about whatever man. Fuck what they be talking about, they opinion doesn’t count, we the only thing that matters (oooh).”
Us or the OVO crew?

“Uh, cups of the XO.”
I’m not sure I understand…

“I think I’m addicted to naked pictures. And sitting talkin’ ’bout bitches that we almost had.”
I think our 10 minutes are up. Well it was a pleasure speaking to you, and I wish you all the…

“Talk to me please, don’t have much to believe in. I need you right now, are you down to listen to me?”
Is everything okay?

“I shouldn’t have drove, tell me how I’m getting home.” (click)

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