Brandon Flowers’ New Album Was Born To Jazzercise


Brandon Flowers has released a new solo album, and though half of it sounds like a typical Springsteen-infused Killers record, there’s something different about The Desired Effect. It’s a record that taps into his Boss-worshipping ways and how the ’80s reign supreme, but there are actually a few moments that are stronger than most of what The Killers frontman has put out before. Each song sounds extremely different (for the most part), honing in on Flowers’ individual growth and pop sensibility while pointing a finger at one obvious conclusion: “Man, this would be sweet to Jazzercise to”.

There’s a strong possibility Flowers has never met Judi Sheppard Missett or attempted the fitness guru’s somewhat dated mix of yoga, pilates, and kickboxing (!!??), but the two are practically perfect for each other. To fully understand what that means, the following are five songs from The Desired Effect that were born to rock the retro workout routines you see below. In this case, headbands are necessary.

“I Can Change” + “Can’t Deny My Love”
As a whole, The Desired Effect makes it clear that Flowers is or probably was dealing with some sort of heartbreak, so why not channel the hurt into an exciting Jazzercise warm up? “Can’t Deny My Love” and “I Can Change” are perfect for easing you into the fluid arm movements and each track goes heavy on the synth/keyboards only to fall directly in sync with this video. It’s almost as if the arm extensions and melodramatic bending represent Flowers’ desperate grasp for understanding his torment.

“Between Me And You”
Surprise, surprise – “Between Me And You” is also about heartbreak and eternal sadness. Thankfully, these Jazzercise girls have fun with a basketball-themed (?) routine that may or may not be incredibly awkward. But that’s totally okay because a) it’s very difficult to dance without looking weird, and b) the sweet moves in this video match each transition in Flowers’ mid-album standout.

“Lonely Town”
Even if you’re not the biggest Killers fan, it’s hard not to fall in love with “Lonely Town”. It’s epic (or at least epic as far as Brandon Flowers goes) and the fun hook deserves a fun Jazzercise routine, which is why “Move Your Boogie Body” is the perfect fit. The jazz hands, gyrating, and finger snapping embrace the adult angst and make you feel like a kid again as you yell out “spinning like a Gravitron”.

“Digging Up The Heart”
Okay, maybe Bruce Springsteen shouldn’t be a part of this, but who doesn’t love the Boss? Flowers does as you can hear whispers of Bruce in his solo work and an obvious example is “Digging Up The Heart”. Luckily, the “Born To Run” vibes fit the YouTube experiment that’s above and though its visuals may not match… well, anything, when has Springsteen ever been known to have rhythm while dancing?


  • Alie S. says:

    Jazzercise is NOTHING like that. It has more than evolved with the times. We wear Asics and Rykas with compression pants and tanks. We have weight training with dumbbells and tubes to Nick Jonas, Fifth Harmony, Jaz Mraz, and many others. The “kickboxing” is based moves inspired by kickboxing and set to songs by PitBull, Kesha, Iggy Azalea, Karmin, etc. We have our cardio sets to Meghan Trainor, Jessie J, Rascal Flatts, Britney Spears, Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj……. the list keeps going.
    Jazzercise was highly popular in the eighties, but that form of Jazzercise demonstrated in the article is strictly eighties. Judi Shepherd Misset and her team rock it out to current top 40’s music.. and if you see a class that is still like the 80’s, you have either stumbled into a theme class or something done by a rule-breaker. Check out the NEW Jazzercise (which is really always new because it has never been and never will be static).

  • Ashley says:

    Does Gillian even live in this decade? Or know how to use the internet? All you have to do is go to to do the bare minimum amount of research before writing an article…

  • Tara says:

    ….i am a 24 year old jazzercise instructor. I’ve been certified since i was 20. This is the most ridiculous P.O.S. article. No research whatsoever done into what jazzercise really is. Just the tired, old stereotype. Yawn. Check your facts people. This is ridiculous and desperately inaccurate.

  • Meghan says:

    Dear Gillian.
    You have just offended the most successful world wide group fitness program, Jazzercsise! Please note that I said World Wide and not just National. I am 35 years young, I have been teaching since I was 27 and taking classes since I was 9 yrs old. NINE YEARS OLD! Jazzercise is current in all forms of dance, strength training, and music. The lack of accuracy and integrity in this article leaves me to believe that the only thing dated here is your journalism skills. I would hope that you as a writer would write based on fact, research and not your opinion? With that being said I dare you to put your dance moves where your pen is and take a Jazzercise class ASAP so that you may re-write this article.

  • Kathy says:

    Guess there is a reason I have never heard of Blare Magazine???? Cause I wouldn’t waste my time on sub par journalism. Do your research if you purport to be a journalist. At the very least take the time to learn that the organization you speak of has 8000 franchises all over the world. Apparently they are doing something right? You clearly are not, gillian.

  • Dallas says:

    My fellow Jazzercise instructors in the comments above make some fair points. I’d just like to point out that May isn’t over yet – for the next three days, anyone who hasn’t taken a Jazzercise class can do so FOR FREE. You might want to pop in to a center near you and check us out – our moves might be different than you think –

  • Mary Varney says:

    This writer has obviously NOT done her research. Every video she has posted is from the 80s. I think she should have attended AT LEAST one Jazzercise class in 2015. Clearly, accuracy was not a factor in her writing.

  • Leslie says:

    All I can think is that the author must have been hard-up if this is the only thing she could compare this album to – outdated Jazzercise routines? What an insult to both Brandon Flowers and Jazzercise!

  • Melissa Roberts says:

    Dear Gillian,
    As I see in the above comments- you have been put in your place about what Jazzercise is actually all about. I find it unfortunate that you cannot report on a Brandon Flowers album, without trying to insult a company of which you clearly know nothing about. How about the next article you write- challenge yourself to keep it positive, write about the actual album instead of attempting what I can only take as humor- by being insulting and uneducated on the subject matter. If it was humor you were going for- you failed.
    At this time I would like to formally challenge you to take Jazzercise classes for 1 week and tell me how you feel about the music, moves, brand & company- if you still think sweat bands are necessary- I would be willing to bet that it’s because your eyes are actually burning from the amount of sweat that is pouring into them. I think I can speak for most Jazzercise instructors when I say, good luck on your challenge- I sincerely hope you’ll rise to the occasion and really enjoy the true Jazzercise experience of 2015.
    A Jazzercise Instructor.

  • Erin says:

    The ONLY reason I can think of that would prompt Ms. Holloway to write a laughably inaccurate article about Jazzercise is that she attempted to take a class and was humiliated by her inability to keep up. Our classes are kick-butt. Welcome to 2015, sweetheart! ;-p

  • Marabeth Duncan says:

    Do your research. I get what you’re trying to say, but Judi Shepperd Missett choreographed everything you see in this video… last year. Jazzercise, Inc. had their highest sales in history… last year.

  • Benjamin Anderson says:

    No sense of humour in the Jazzercise-Instructor crowd I guess. Doing leg lifts to Pitbull must reduce their ability to understand satire. Also I had no idea Jazzercise was still a thing.

  • K Campbell says:

    You just got your ass handed to you by a group of kick butt instructors. You should just go ahead and accept that.

  • Dana Muffoletto says:

    Well – I am an owner and instructor of a Jazzercise studio. I believe the writer of this article is incompetent and if she worked for me I would fire her. A simple Internet search shows she has not a clue what she is talking about. I have been apart of Jazzer use for 12 years. Wish I had known about it when I was in my 20s. But I can tell you this, I would bet a 51 I could run Gillian into the ground during a class.

    Gillian needs to find a class and and write a new article on Jazzercise.

  • Michelle Joshua says:

    I have been a Jazzercise instructor for 8 years and I have been taking Jazzercise classes for 15 years. I started taking classes at the age of 23 and Jazzercise is definitely NOT dated, and our classes are not a mix of yoga, pilates, and kickboxing either. They are so much more than that! Gillian Holloway, you need to do your research before writing an article like this. You have offended a huge group of fit and fabulous ladies and men who love Jazzercise because it’s a kick-ass workout that CHANGES WITH THE TIMES. We dance to the most popular, hottest music out there today and our moves are hard-hitting and calorie burning. I found your article to be completely inaccurate and very insulting as well. Please take the advice of the others who have written and TAKE A JAZZERCISE CLASS so you can see just how wrong your article is. Then, you can rewrite an article that is accurate. Shame on you, Gillian Holloway, for bashing a successful, profitable, motivating, inspiring company that has been around for 45 years and is still going strong. Jazzercise has a HUGE following around the world and you will be hearing from many of us, I’m sure.

  • Caio says:

    I would have been surprised to learn that there is such a thing as a jazzercise community. That it’s also able to rally such a vocal and defensive online presence to address the gentlest joking suggestion of datedness is surreal and hilarious and terrifying.

    We really do live in an age of technological wonder.

  • Jill says:

    Hmm. Pretty unfair article. And not really “funny” bc it’s inaccurate.

  • Debi says:


    -We are franchise OWNERS, we invest in our business and yes we ROCK at it!

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    #5 on their 2015 list of Low Cost Franchises
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    #13 on their 2014 Global Franchises (2015 list not available yet)

    -Music is what you hear on the radio and yes we pay to use it LEGALLY and do not rip off artists!

    -Not to unusual to burn 600+ calories in our one hour classes.

    -Jazzercise has an app/look us up!

    -We are a strong presence in the fitness community because WE EARNED IT! Period! Our Legacy gifting program will make us even more of a presence in the future.

    -We have a culture unparalleled with our students as well as within our instructor group. We are tight nit and we welcome anyone!

    Check us out and make up your own mind. See you in class!

  • Jazztastic Jamie says:

    How DARE you make such an out of touch article insulting my Jazzercise brothers and sisters! Jazzercise has been a dance-workout hybrid staple since 1348 when Catholic monks would teach classes to those with the plague as a (very effective) cure. Since then history’s greatest leaders were Jazzercise enthusiasts. Columbus? Jazzerciser for 30 years. George Washington? Jazzercised so hard that he lost his teeth! Michael Jordan? Still TEACHES classes to this day! Gillian, I hope when the Jazzercise police come to your door and take you away to the Jazzercize prison, I hope that you learn that Jazzercise is no joke. Maybe one day you will join us in the fight against other writers who make light jokes at our beloved way of life.


    Holy cannonball,

    Jazzersize people are trying their best to fast track themselves to the number 1 losers in the world spot. It’s almost as if they google “jazzersize” every day to make sure to be the firsts to comment on anything regarding their lame hobby.

    Good god as if you people actually got offended at this article hahahah wow…

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